I think it’s safe to say we all struggle with negative thinking in some way or another. In a culture of digital life, and always showing up online with your best selfie, your picture perfect home and family, and putting on the face that you always have it together, it’s no wonder we feel less than. But do you know what? That’s all a lie. It’s an imagination - it’s a tiny moment in time when they had a good hair day, the kids were bribed with an ice cream and a puppy to sit still and smile for the photo, or the literal 7 minutes your house was spick and span before the kids came in and well, you know what happens next ;) It doesn’t show real life, doesn’t show the kids, or you and your husband fighting before the pictures were taken, the playdough, stuffies, and forts covering the table and the entire living room floor. It doesn’t show the beautiful but exhausting 24/7 life of a mom. It’s not reality, and yet we’re overcome by it. We compare ourselves, tell ourselves we’re not doing enough as a mom, we’re not spending enough time on our hair, we’re not measuring up as a cook or a cleaner, or you name it.
Well, let me be the one to tell you - you’re doing beautifully, Mama! You’re enough. You’re beautiful. You’re loved. You’re strong. You’re kind. You’re funny. You mean everything to your babies! And there is grace for this season, there’s grace for the hard moments, and there’s grace when you don’t get it all right. God doesn’t care if you live an Instagram worthy life, He cares about your heart. He cares about how you love (yourself and others). He cares about YOU.
Recognizing Negative Thoughts
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” 2 Corinthians 10:4-6
There are so many thoughts that flood us throughout the day, whether it’s from the shows we watch, what we see on social, read in the news, hear from our kids, friends, spouses, etc., or we’re just filling in the (very limited) silence. Our minds are constantly receiving and processing thoughts, and unless we know how to silence negative ones, we can easily be overcome by them. Let’s take just a second to identify negative thoughts:
Things that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God - beliefs or thoughts contrary to what God says, lies about who He is, or slanders of His character.
Negative thoughts about us or others - thoughts that are contrary to what God says about us.
Fear - God is not the author of fear. “He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7
The comparison game - comparison is the thief of joy; it either leads to pride or shame.
What if - what if I didn’t marry him, what if I didn’t or did this, what if I didn’t have kids, etc.
Now that we’ve talked about what negative thoughts are, we have to do something about them.
Removing Negative Thoughts And Replacing Them With Truth
2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to “...[bring] every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” Honestly, we have to train our brain to recognize negative thoughts. We have to pay attention to what we’re thinking about, and ask whether or not our thoughts line up with God’s word and His truth, or if they fall into one of the negative thought categories mentioned above. If it’s the latter, we have to tell them to hit the road.
First, we have to tell ourselves and tell those thoughts that they’re a lie. We have to tell it like it is, and second, and most importantly, we have to know the Truth. Jesus says, “The Truth will set you free.” If you don’t know the Truth, you’ll constantly be stuck in bondage, you’ll be trapped by negative and wrong thinking. It really doesn’t matter what your reality, your culture, or what everyone else says. Truth is where freedom is. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. His word is Truth, and if your thoughts don't line up with His word, they’re not truth. If you want to know Truth you have to be in His word, you have to be spending time with Jesus, learning and experiencing His heart. The more you do this, the easier it will be to identify a lie, wrong thinking, or thoughts that entertain and give power to fear.
How To Take Your Thoughts Captive
What I do when I take my thoughts captive is first recognize that I’ve let my brain entertain a certain thing. Sometimes that’s me feeling guilty about something, sometimes it’s pointing the finger at God or thinking He’s not as good as I thought He was, and oftentimes it’s entertaining fear. I’ve had this horrible habit of imagining the worst possible situations with me and my kids - car wrecks, kidnapping, you name it. Not good, and it’s led me to act differently than I normally would. I hate that. One day I was imagining a car wreck, and the Lord stopped me in my tracks and said, “I am your Defender!” That was a really powerful moment in my life, and one of the times God really formed this idea of taking my thoughts captive. He showed me the lie I was believing: I didn’t trust Him, and He helped me replace that lie with the truth of who He is. He’s my Defender, and He’s my kids’ Defender as well.
This is how I take my thoughts captive, and how you can too. Recognize the wrong thought, identify that it’s a lie, and then replace it with truth. Declare that truth over your heart and your mind, and over the situation. Literally, speak it aloud. This will help train your brain to recognize the truth from the lie. If you’re not certain whether your thought is a lie, or you’re not sure how to replace it with a truth, go to God’s word, and ask yourself, “Does this line up with God’s word?” “Does this line up with His character?” “Does this lead to peace?” If the answer is no, you can be reasonably certain it’s not right thinking. And then, find a verse or a characteristic of God you can declare in place of that lie. Here are some examples:
Fear:
“Thank you, God, that you have not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind(2 Timothy 1:7).”
“Thank you, God, that you are the God of all comfort and the Father of compassion (2. Corinthians 1:3).”
Shame:
“Thank you, Father, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps. 139:14).
“Thank you, Father, that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:1-2)."
God’s not doing what I wanted/what He should have:
"Thank you, Father, that you are the Rock, your works are perfect, and all your ways are just. You're a faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just are you. (Deuteronomy 32:4)."
Thank you, Father, that you are light, and in you is no darkness at all (1 John 1:5)
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